the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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