I will die if light touches me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
