Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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