Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
