woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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