I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
