Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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