Are we in a gay sports bar?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
it glows. i had to have it.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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