I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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