We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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