he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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