Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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