Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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