Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
