I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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