He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need a burrito and a hug.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
