wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
