He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize