Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize