She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
