hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
