My room smells like vodka and shame
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
