my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
