i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
