im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
