Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
