I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
