Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
