we're blogging at a bar
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
