She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
