if i can run in heels then i can drive
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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