I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
