'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
