Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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