Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize