The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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