needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
