im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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