If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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