pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
