I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
