It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
