Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
