I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
