So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I wish there were birth control emojis
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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