all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
