You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
