I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
