Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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