one word: firstdatebathroomanal
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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