I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
