...so i touched it.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
