I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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