...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
