he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I party with great urgency now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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