haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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