508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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