Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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