so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
